Steve Keegan. Couples Counselling, Relationship counsellor &  Sex Addiction Therapy in Doncaster

Welcome to Doncaster Couples Counselling, Marriage Counselling, Divorce Counselling, Relationship Counselling and Sexual Counselling website. Face to face and online appointments. I am a Doncaster based Counsellor.

My name is Steve Keegan and I have been practicing as a Relationship Counsellor and Couples Counsellor since 2009 and qualified as a Psychosexual Therapist in 2012 although I do not offer psychosexual therapy presently due to only working part time.  I have worked for Relate, the NHS and Doncaster Council and now work from my home based office here in Doncaster with couples and individuals. I am qualified to Post Graduate level with Hull University.  So many couples contact me and tell me this is their last chance to sort matters out before separating.  Couples need to be more proactive and contact a Therapist before the problems have escalated to such an extent that seeing a Therapist is a make or break situation. If matters are becoming difficult between you do something about it  now, not when the relationship  has deteriorated to such an extent that the Therapist is the make or break option!!!

I offer face to face appointments here at my home office, but also offer online counselling sessions as many clients prefer to communicate via video chat. Remote counselling has the advantage that you do not have to commute to the appointment, are more relaxed as you are sat within your home environment and also that you do not have to think about organising childcare. We can communicate Microsoft Teams or Whaps App, video call, both of which are secure online video chat forums.  Please contact me via phone or email to discuss any issues that you feel we can address together either face to face or via MS Teams online.  I will always do my best to offer you an appointment as soon as is possible.

Now that summer is a distant memory and Christmas is in the not so distant future people often reflect on the issues that they have ignored during the summer months as they have prioritised the childrens needs and family holidays. I always find that September through to December are the months when most people want to speak to a Therapist, perhaps with Christmas in mind and having reflected on the issues that have troubled them throughout the year, wanting to try and resolve matters or address certain issues before Christmas.  Please give me a call if you wish to discuss matters prior to booking a counselling session or text/ring/email me to book an initial appointment.

Is your relationship distant and do you feel unable to reach/communicate effectively with one another?
Do you avoid conversations about difficult subjects to avoid arguments?
Do your arguments always go around in circles and never, ever get resolved?
Do conflict and arguments leave you feeling hurt, angry, resentful and alone even though you are meant to be in a partnership?
Is it time to contact a Relationship Counsellor ?

I am an experienced Doncaster based Couples Counsellor. I specialise in Relationship Therapy, sexual issues therapy and Sex & Porn Addiction Therapy in my Doncaster Office and also see clients from many nearby towns. I regularly have clients contact me about Sex & Porn addiction and Couples Counselling and Relationship Counselling from Barnsley, Mexborough and Wakefield as all are within easy travelling distance to my office.

I can appreciate the difficulty for someone to be able to admit that there is a problem and to take the first step to contact a Counsellor. I would say that everyone is nervous upon arrival and not knowing what to expect from the Counsellor.  It is my job to make you feel at ease on the first session and you will soon realise  that I am not here to tell you what to do, but to guide you on your relationship path by looking at your upbringing, past relationships and communication styles. Most couples who put the work in at home outside of the sessions only tend to need 6 to 8 sessions in total. Discounts are available when 5 or more sessions are booked and paid for in advance. Please ask when you email or speak to me. 

COMMUNICATION STYLES & ASSOCIATED PROBLEMS;

The majority of my clients really do struggle to communicate effectively. Many of the men I work with especially really struggle to discuss their emotions and feelings with their partners. This can often lead to them repressing awkward feelings and not discussing complex issues that are affecting their relationship with the partner. They will then often find other ways to regulate mood or manage their emotions which are normally at the detriment of their relationship. The lack of ability to discuss feelings/emotions/issues will often lead men to make assumptions about what their partner is thinking/doing which then leads them to make unwise decisions that affect their relationship for the worse.

I try to encourage my couples to use open, observational, positive, transparent dialogue with one another as opposed to challenging, critical, judgmental, negative language. An example of this would be; “ I am noticing that you seem really distant and quiet tonight”. “ I am just wondering if you have something on your mind?” as opposed to;” What’s the matter with you tonight?” “You have a face like a sour grape”.

Observational language shows that we are noticing our partner’s body language and manner and that we are concerned and interested to know what may be troubling them as opposed to criticising them and closing down any meaningful conversation.

MENTAL HEALTH & ITS EFFECTS ON A RELATIONSHIP:

I understand having worked for the Community Mental Health Team for a decade with the NHS in Doncaster and also having delivered counselling to many clients experiencing mental health problems in East Yorkshire through a Relate contract the huge impact it can have on a persons ability to function effectively and communicate within a relationship. I have also undertaken a range of continuos professional development courses to keep my practice up to date in the complex field of mental health.

I have had lots of clients contact me lately to discuss how stuck they feel in life in that all they do is work, eat, sleep, parent etc and somehow have no quality couple time. It is so important that we take the time to self care and think about what makes us tick, think about our own sense of identity and what else we may need to achieve a happy, fulfilling life. A question that I often ask my couples early on in therapy is when they last had FUN together. It is sad to see the expressions on peoples faces when I ask this question. Why should we as adults not be able to be silly, to laugh and to have fun with our partner. Life can be serious at times, but surely not all the time?

Many couples contact me via email or text and discuss how the therapy sessions will be the make or break of the relationship as matters have deteriorated to such an extent that they are barely communicating at all. The sad truth is that sometime couples counselling sessions enable a couple to work through the logistics of a break up and enable them to make the process of separating less painful and more managable for both the coupe and so often the children.


My opening hours are below:

Monday 6pm until 8pm.
Tuesday: 6pm until 9pm
Wednesday: Closed
Thursday: 6pm until 7pm
Friday: 5:30pm until 6:30pm
Saturday: Closed

DONCASTER BASED COUNSELLOR SPECIALISING IN COUPLES COUNSELLING, MARRIAGE COUNSELLING,  RELATIONSHIP COUNSELLING & INDIVIDUAL COUNSELLING FOR RELATIONSHIP AND SEXUAL ISSUES:

Couple relationships can be both the most important thing in our lives and at times the most challenging. Many of the couples who come for couples counselling have recognised that they may have not dedicated much time to each other and have been avoiding or ignoring the challenges and difficulties that daily life brings. All relationships can struggle and go through difficult times, but what makes the difference is how you manage those conflicts. In some cases the way you handle those challenges can make the difference between staying together or splitting up.

I have also worked with many couples experiencing sexual problems in that sex has somehow fallen off of the agenda due to other areas of live taking more of a priority such as work, children, hobbies and interests and simply there not being enough hours in the day. Once that happens it becomes very difficult to communicate sexually either verbally or physically and I work with many couples where men have lost their confidence sexually and feel anxious and awkward about initiating sex. This in turn impacts on the partner in that they too start to lose their confidence and their self esteem is affected which stops them initiating sex. This then becomes a vicious circle which starts to impact on the couple relationship where people often become more irritable and resentful towards one another. These sexual difficulties and miscommunications can easily be addressed within counselling sessions with a specific focus on sensuality and sexuality.


SELF ESTEEM AND CONFIDENCE WORK:

Many clients contact me due discuss their low self esteem and confidence. With the pressures that society and social media puts on people today, both men and women seem to want to look a certain way and compare themselves to the pictures that people post online or to other online content. A lot of the work that I focus on is helping people to look at the mirror within themselves and not the exterior mirror of vanity. A person is made up of many segments, not just a face and a body. Looks fade and bodies change shape through aging, weight gain, giving birth, disability and illness. It is all the other segments of who we are that keeps couples together and strengthens their bond over time. Take the time to ask your partner what it is they find attractive about you............................................
What else should we focus on when thinking about what gives us our self esteem? Our job/qualifications/humour/personality/friendship group/family/being a parent/loyalty/integrity...... The list goes on and on.........
It is not just our looks and body that give us value in the eyes of others, but a collection of many of our attributes

DIVORCE COUNSELLING:

A divorce counsellor  is a trained Therapist who provides guidance and support to people during divorce proceedings. They have a thorough knowledge of the divorce process, and are able to offer practical advice to clients to enable them to  cope with the emotional, legal, and logistical challenges of divorce.They work with clients throughout the process, from those struggling to decide whether to divorce, to those reeling from a shock announcement that their marriage is over, to those struggling to move forward even though the divorce has been finalised. They are also there to support, encourage and empower clients as they work their way through he complex journey moving towards a divorce, and their knowlewge and guidance can make a significant difference in the lives of those going through their divorce experience.

BODY DYSMORPHIA COUNSELLING:

Body dysmorphic disorder is a mental health condition in which you can't stop thinking about one or more perceived defects or flaws in your appearance — a flaw that appears minor or can't be seen by others. But you may feel so embarrassed, ashamed and anxious that you may avoid many social situations.

When you have body dysmorphic disorder, you intensely focus on your appearance and body image, repeatedly checking the mirror, grooming or seeking reassurance, sometimes for many hours each day. Your perceived flaw and the repetitive behaviors cause you significant distress and impact your ability to function in your daily life.

You may seek out numerous cosmetic procedures to try to "fix" your perceived flaw. Afterwards,  you may feel temporary satisfaction or a reduction in your distress, but often the anxiety returns and you may resume searching for other ways to fix your perceived flaw.

Recent research studies among adults with body dysmorphia found that 75% of people interviewed had expereinced some form of trauma as a child. People will often internalise the trauma and fixtate on the physical flaw in an unconscious effort to distract, deny and deflect from the true source of the pain, the unresolved trauma. 

When body dysmorphia emerges as an unhealthy coping mechanism for living with unresolved trauma, dealing with the body issue alone will not be sufficient to resolve the problem. The past trauma ( abuse/neglect etc ) must also be addressed. 

Click to view Couples Counselling page
Click to view Individual Counselling page
Click to view Relationship Counselling page

DONCASTER BASED COUNSELLOR SPECIALISING IN SEX ADDICTION & PORN ADDICTION THERAPY / SMARTPHONE & INTERNET ADDICTIONS

I specialise in treating Internet/ Smart Phone addictions including porn, sex, sexting, chat rooms and dating sites, but also cover gambling and substance misuse addictions. I have ten years experience in treating addictions gained whilst working for the NHS Substance Misuse Team in Doncaster and as a Sex Therapist at Relate and more recently in my private work. It was whilst working for the Substance Misuse Team that I learnt and developed my practice working with patients to address their addictions to illicit drugs, prescribed drugs and to alcohol.

This decade of experience coupled with ongoing Professional Development and a Post Graduate Diploma from Hull University in Psychosexual Therapy gave me an in-depth understanding and knowledge of the route causes of addiction and the theories, tools, strategies and therapeutic skills to help people to overcome addictive behaviours. I now use my knowledge to assist many clients who present with sex addiction and porn addiction problems.

Porn addiction and sex addiction are often not related to sex at all, but the positive, pleasurable feelings that people have when they think about or act out the behaviour. There is a need to self sooth and regulate mood/emotion. This is achieved by many people with sex addiction amd porn addiction as they have developed this behaviour as a coping mechanism to manage painful thoughts and emotions and help them cope with their daily life.
There are many reasons why people choose sex addiction or porn addiction as a way of coping with life. The impact of trauma which can include serious illness, childhood sexual abuse and neglectful or abusive parenting can cause people to act out sexually. Another reason is people having the opportunity to put the time and effort into the behaviour. As technology has progressed with so many people now using smart phones, the opportunity is always there to access the internet and escape into the world of sexually addictive behaviours whether at home, work or out with the family. The problem of porn addiction and sex addiction is potentially with you 24/7. The problem should be addressed before it causes irreparable damage to relationships with families, children, partners and potentially impacts on your mental and physical health and possibly your career.

My experience and qualifications to date in Counselling/Psychosexual (Sex) Therapy and Addiction work have enabled me to address the issues of porn addiction and sex addiction very successfully to date with many clients.

Click to view Porn addiction therapy page
Click to view Sex addiction therapy page
Click to view Internet addiction page


Below are most recently completed Continued Professional Development courses:

The annual sex addiction conference in London x 1 day. Meeting with other professionals and attending workshops and speeches by guest speakers. The course was organised by ATSAC.

Sex after Sexual Trauma ( COSRT )

Domestic Abuse and the LGBT Community ( Doncaster Council )

Domestic abuse and older people. ( Assessment and Intervention) A 4 day course in Newcastle to add to my qualifications to enable me to specialise more with elderly couples experiencing domestic abuse. The course was run by Safelives and accredited by the OCN.

An introduction to Complex Trauma and Trauma Informed Care ( Homeless Link )


I am committed to providing counselling and therapy in a safe, confidential and non-judgemental environment at my home office based in Cusworth, Doncaster. NB. There are toilet facilities available.
Appointments are available on an evening from 6:00pm until 8:00pm in my comfortable, private therapy room.


I am experienced in helping clients who have experienced difficulties with :

• Relationship problems
  
• Porn and chat room addiction
  
• Sex addiction
  
• Sexual problems and dysfunctions
  
• Substance misuse and alcohol addiction
  
• Gambling addiction
  
• Sexuality difficulties
  
• Anxiety & Panic Attacks
  
• Bereavement
  
• Anger management
  
• Childhood sexual abuse
  
  My main areas of experience relate to:
  
  
• Couples counselling
  
• Individual relationship counselling
  
• Porn/Sex/internet addictions
  
• Psychosexual Therapy
  
• Sexual and Sexuality difficulties
  
• Substance misuse/alcohol/gambling addictions
  
  I appreciate that it may be difficult to make sense of your difficulties and that you may have many questions about counselling or therapy and how it may benefit you. It is important that you feel at ease with your therapist and I would suggest that you email me or ideally give me a call to enable you to have a quick chat about your situation. You can then decide if you feel at ease with me and if you would like to book an initial consultation.
  
  Please read some of my client feedback below:
  
  Steve Keegan: Counsellor and Psychosexual Therapist
  Cusworth, Doncaster
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  4 months ago
  Steve provided fantastic support at a very difficult time and I have seen real results on the back of his help.
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  Male Barnsley: "Hi Steve. Hope you are well. I just thought that I would let you know that I,ve gone past 90 days now and I am feeling better than ever. I no longer consider myself addicted to sex. I still have temptations, but I have learnt how to deal with them and do so, day by day. I am doing well at the moment and really enjoying life. Thanks so much for everything you have done to help me through this problem. Should I need any help in the future, then I will be back in touch."

  
  

  Male Barnsley: " Since working with you on my porn addiction problem I have finally started to understand who I am and what I need in life to be fulfilled. I can now see how I was that needy child and how that child has followed me into being an adult and how I have used the feelings associated with my porn use to help me manage in life, but actually all it has done is almost destroy my life and I have lost my closest friend and partner due to this addiction."

  
  

  Female Doncaster: " Thanks for making me realise just how much my past baggage has impacted on the here and now. Our relationship has taken a turn for the better since starting the sessions."

  
  

  Male Doncaster:" I'd always assumed that I was addicted to sex, but now I understand that the porn or feelings it produced helped me cope with my life and it had nothing to do with real sex".

  
  

  Male Barnsley: "Thanks for all you have done in making me realise that it is good to talk to my wife about things. If the crazy thoughts enter my head again then I know where you are. Thanks again."

  
  

  Male Doncaster: "The sessions have helped me re-connect with wife." We are closer than ever without the distraction of my phone vibrating in my pocket."

  
  

  Male Doncaster: "My partner and I actually talk about stuff that matters now and it's easier for me to talk about how I'm feeling".

  
  

  Female Doncaster: " These few sessions have given me a sense of direction and more confidence in myself."

  
  

  Male Doncaster: " Thanks Steve." " I have my life back on track and a wife that is starting to trust me again",

  
  

  Male Doncaster: "You cannot imagine my sense of relief having finally told somebody about my past."

  
  

  Male Doncaster: "It helps seeing you." "I can't talk to my friends about this stuff."

  
  

  Female Doncaster; "The counselling helped us understand matters from each others point of view"

  
  

  Female Doncaster: "We found the sessions really useful and would happily recommend you"

  
  

  Male Barnsley: " Thanks for your time Steve and for giving me the tools to make life changing choices"

  
  
  
  Find me on Google if you are looking for a Relationship Counsellor, Couples Counsellor in Doncaster or a specialist Psychosexual (Sex) Therapist.
  I am an experienced Doncaster based Couples Counsellor. I specialise in Relationship Therapy, Psychosexual Therapy and Sex & Porn Addiction Therapy in Doncaster and also see clients from many nearby towns. I regularly have clients contact me about Sex & Porn addiction and Couples Counselling from Barnsley, Mexborough and Wakefield as all are within easy travelling distance to my office.
  
  
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