The right time to access couples counselling is usually earlier than most couples realise. You don't have to wait until the relationship is in crisis or you're considering separation.
Good reasons to seek counselling
Consider couples/relationship counselling when:
You keep having the same argument without resolving what is underneath it.
Communication has become criticism, defensiveness, blaming, withdrawing or shouting.
You feel emotionally disconnected, lonely or misunderstood.
Affection, intimacy or sex has significantly changed and you're struggling to talk about it.
Arguments escalate quickly and either or both of you find it difficult to calm things down.
One or both partners have started avoiding difficult conversations because they inevitably lead to conflict.
There has been a significant life change—retirement, children leaving home, bereavement, illness, financial pressure or another major transition.
Trust has been damaged by secrecy, an affair or another breach of boundaries. One partner is talking about separation or divorce, even if the other wants to save the relationship.
Do not wait for your relationship to become bad enough to seek couples counselling as this can be too late to resolve matters.
A particularly useful point to start counselling is when you can see a problem but still have some willingness to work on it together.